Wednesday, October 29, 2008
ill do whatever i want, im a robot
in a world where nothing's remembered unless it's famous we would sell our souls just to write our names on the sidewalks of glamour before the concrete dries. we know our promised land awaits and we will do whatever it takes to get there. it doesn't matter how many necks we have to snap or back we have to stab, nothing will hold us back from our chance to shine. friends are just a commodity after all. you may not know who i am and i can't say im really too sure either but it's the price you have to pay to be as adaptable as i am. it's really a simple game, just become whatever they want you to and forget having a definable identity. like the moon has mastered the lycanthrope so the limelight has become our manipulator. we pledge our hearts to relativity in order to avoid conflict. we soak our hands in grey and our lives are dripping in ambiguity. is this what it is to grow up? sometimes i doubt my own maturity because im still hiding under the sheets of my childhood. im not afraid of the dark, im just afraid of what's in it. have we turned the lights out so we can sleep or just to hide the monsters we have unleashed? this is the life we have chosen and this is the path we walk. what we thought was bringing salvation is actually the harbinger of our destruction. we have escaped the reach of the lion just to be greeted by the jaws of the bear. in all this mess we have forgotten our primal need for veracity. not everything is black and white but this color isn't as beautiful as it looked at first. it's starting to fade and so am i. this is the place i always find you. unwavering and standing true while i kneel on skinned knees with my face in the gravel. you are unchanged amidst the hoax that i have to live for. with selfishness deeply entrenched in my heart, you are the catalyst for life.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
nothing more than words
this morning i read a passage from the book of ezra that on most days i honestly would have just glanced over (while probably thinking about something to do with myself), closed my bible, and gone on with my day, but some reason it really made me think today. my fleeting attention was caught by something inside of me that resounded with the passage. the stark contrast between king atraxerxes' understanding of god and ezra's brings out a sad truth about human nature.
first this is an excerpt of atraxerxes' letter to ezra, notice how he refers to god.
" You are sent by the king and his seven advisers to inquire about Judah and Jerusalem with regard to the Law of YOUR God, which is in your hand. Moreover, you are to take with you the silver and gold that the king and his advisers have freely given to the God of ISRAEL, as well as the freewill offerings of the people and priests for the temple of THEIR God in Jerusalem. With this money be sure to buy bulls, rams and male lambs and sacrifice them on the altar of the temple of YOUR God in Jerusalem. You and your brother Jews may then do whatever seems best with the rest of the silver and gold, in accordance with the will of YOUR God. Deliver to the God of JERUSALEM all the articles entrusted to you for worship in the temple of YOUR God. And anything else needed for the temple of YOUR God you may provide from the royal treasury. And you, Ezra, in accordance with the wisdom of YOUR God, which you possess, appoint magistrates and judges to administer justice to all the people of Trans-Euphrates—all who know the laws of YOUR God. And you are to teach any who do not know them."
atraxerxes refers to god as "your god, or the god of israel or jerusalem." throughout ezra the king acknowledges the god of the israelites as a powerful and supreme being worthy to be praised and obeyed but makes it very clear that this god is not his god.
now compare atraxerexes' distant relationship with god to that of ezra's.
"Because the gracious hand of OUR God was on us, they brought us Sherebiah, a capable man. There, by the Ahava Canal, I proclaimed a fast, so that we might humble ourselves before OUR God and ask him for a safe journey for us and our children, with all our possessions. I was ashamed to ask the king for soldiers and horsemen to protect us from enemies on the road, because we had told the king, "The gracious hand of OUR God is on everyone who looks to him, but his great anger is against all who forsake him." So we fasted and petitioned OUR God about this, and he answered our prayer...Then the priests and Levites received the silver and gold and sacred articles that had been weighed out to be taken to the house of OUR God in Jerusalem."
ezra also refers to god as the god of jerusalem but also as his own personal god and the god of his people.
sometimes i wonder if today we can have the same view of god that atraxerxes did. do we think that because god is so huge or so holy that we have no part in him? do we ever think of god as too far removed from our reality that he is irrelevant to us or that our lives don't matter to him? i know im sick of listening to lies of the legalistic priests that live in my head. and im tired of looking up to god through these deistic eyes. for some reason we as humans have this need to explain the incomprehensible. we try to tame and confine god so we can understand him and even manipulate him. we build little god-shaped boxes that we can tuck god into and make ourselves more comfortable with who he is. but god knows no bounds, his very being has no beginning or ending. but still we try to tell god who he is. and we are not the first to do this. the human race has been doing it since day one, and god still has not been tamed or controlled. god is the ultimate paradox.
how can the god of the whole universe be the god of my heart? how can god be both completely just and all merciful? how can something invisible surround us everywhere we go? how can an inaudible god still speak to his creation? how can god hear the cries of all his people? and perhaps the most profound question of them all: how can a holy god love the sinful people that turn their backs on him everyday?
the god of ezra, the god of jerusalem, the god of the israelites, and the god of all of creation is the god of you and he is the god of me. and he is still breaking rules that we set for him. he wants to be the one we turn to and call "our god." and all this is has come to pass in his endless and exceedingly abundant love. he has done too much for us, for us to still think of him as just another religious icon.
first this is an excerpt of atraxerxes' letter to ezra, notice how he refers to god.
" You are sent by the king and his seven advisers to inquire about Judah and Jerusalem with regard to the Law of YOUR God, which is in your hand. Moreover, you are to take with you the silver and gold that the king and his advisers have freely given to the God of ISRAEL, as well as the freewill offerings of the people and priests for the temple of THEIR God in Jerusalem. With this money be sure to buy bulls, rams and male lambs and sacrifice them on the altar of the temple of YOUR God in Jerusalem. You and your brother Jews may then do whatever seems best with the rest of the silver and gold, in accordance with the will of YOUR God. Deliver to the God of JERUSALEM all the articles entrusted to you for worship in the temple of YOUR God. And anything else needed for the temple of YOUR God you may provide from the royal treasury. And you, Ezra, in accordance with the wisdom of YOUR God, which you possess, appoint magistrates and judges to administer justice to all the people of Trans-Euphrates—all who know the laws of YOUR God. And you are to teach any who do not know them."
atraxerxes refers to god as "your god, or the god of israel or jerusalem." throughout ezra the king acknowledges the god of the israelites as a powerful and supreme being worthy to be praised and obeyed but makes it very clear that this god is not his god.
now compare atraxerexes' distant relationship with god to that of ezra's.
"Because the gracious hand of OUR God was on us, they brought us Sherebiah, a capable man. There, by the Ahava Canal, I proclaimed a fast, so that we might humble ourselves before OUR God and ask him for a safe journey for us and our children, with all our possessions. I was ashamed to ask the king for soldiers and horsemen to protect us from enemies on the road, because we had told the king, "The gracious hand of OUR God is on everyone who looks to him, but his great anger is against all who forsake him." So we fasted and petitioned OUR God about this, and he answered our prayer...Then the priests and Levites received the silver and gold and sacred articles that had been weighed out to be taken to the house of OUR God in Jerusalem."
ezra also refers to god as the god of jerusalem but also as his own personal god and the god of his people.
sometimes i wonder if today we can have the same view of god that atraxerxes did. do we think that because god is so huge or so holy that we have no part in him? do we ever think of god as too far removed from our reality that he is irrelevant to us or that our lives don't matter to him? i know im sick of listening to lies of the legalistic priests that live in my head. and im tired of looking up to god through these deistic eyes. for some reason we as humans have this need to explain the incomprehensible. we try to tame and confine god so we can understand him and even manipulate him. we build little god-shaped boxes that we can tuck god into and make ourselves more comfortable with who he is. but god knows no bounds, his very being has no beginning or ending. but still we try to tell god who he is. and we are not the first to do this. the human race has been doing it since day one, and god still has not been tamed or controlled. god is the ultimate paradox.
how can the god of the whole universe be the god of my heart? how can god be both completely just and all merciful? how can something invisible surround us everywhere we go? how can an inaudible god still speak to his creation? how can god hear the cries of all his people? and perhaps the most profound question of them all: how can a holy god love the sinful people that turn their backs on him everyday?
the god of ezra, the god of jerusalem, the god of the israelites, and the god of all of creation is the god of you and he is the god of me. and he is still breaking rules that we set for him. he wants to be the one we turn to and call "our god." and all this is has come to pass in his endless and exceedingly abundant love. he has done too much for us, for us to still think of him as just another religious icon.
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