prince charming

we have proudly arrived at the day when all the ends are justified by the means and a deep grave and a few eloquent words are all we need to bury the killing fields. self-indulgence and self-destruction converge at the place where integrity became too difficult. what is a man? broken promises? bruised wrists? the fleeting shadow by your side? is it this self-seeking, blood thirsty breed we see before us? back turned to those he loved, arms open to an ever elusive mistress, pupils dilated with lust. or have we forgotten what constitutes a man. meant to stand, meant to fight, meant to protect. but now we are all too busy looking for the cure for the pain we have caused. anything to purge that guilt that clings so tightly to our conscience. have no fear, apathy has rooted itself firmly in the void we swear is our heart. truth be told, i can't say i've felt it beat for anyone but me. we would stand up for what we believe in but we have conveniently lost all conviction. we have left our beloved brides searching for restoration in the wreckage that remains of the alter that we have no intention of putting back together. and we abandon our children to search for validation in a spineless and absent role model. since when did forever mean, "when it's easy for me?" and when did daddy become as offensive as profanity. sure boys will be boys if we never expect them to be men. this is where we need to draw the line. this will not be our legacy. we will look north and find our design. we will be what you deserve. we will be men.

look at what i did

sometimes i think we forget to find fulfillment in the small things in life. we are too busy looking high and low for the next big miracle that we forget to allow the subtle beauties of life take our breath away. the times that make you realize that life has so much value. and the little things that bring us face to face with the amazing intricacies and the very fabric of being human. tonight i had one of those nights where i think god was trying to whisper another one his sneaky lessons into my ears in the midst of all the chaotic static i fill my life up with. i went to pick my younger brother up from his art class just like any other wednesday night, but little did i know the little brother i dropped off would not be the same one i was going to pick up. i in fact was picking up a junior pablo picasso.

my brother loves his art class and he's really good at it. it's a great chance for him to just have some time for himself. he's the youngest, and as such there's a lot that he can't do himself and im sure living in your brothers' shadows can be irritating. hand me down clothes and hand me down rules from sibling to sibling im sure can take its toll. but art class is his and only his. its his time to shine and his hour to create something that had not existed previously. its a pretty simple art class and the other projects have included an array of portraits, watercolor on canvas, and constructing a birdhouse, pretty much just fundamentals. and that's what i expected tonight, but when i walked in i hardly recognized the little artist that grant had become. on a normal piece of white construction paper laid his most epic masterpiece in his short lived career.

in the foreground sat a peaceful red cabin buried in amongst aspen trees that stretched up into the sky. it was as if the branches tore a hole in the sky that the snowflakes on the canvas fell from. and in the background sat a picturesque scenery of mountain ranges. i was astounded by his diligent attention to every tiny detail. this is a kid who can't concentrate on his math homework for ten minutes but can crank out a work of art like it was nothing. i didn't know what to say, i was taken aback. the first sound i could make was something that somewhat resembled a "wow." i asked him if he did all by himself and he just stated in a very matter of fact tone of voice, that of course he did. the teacher said it was one of the best she's ever seen and she even took a picture of it to brag about later.

i couldn't stop raving to him about how great i thought it was and on the ride home he was so proud of it that he held it up to the window so the passing cars could see what he had made. then when we stopped at a light the lady in the car next to us looked over and my brother shrunk down, embarrassed, nervous, vulnerable. this was his heart and soul on paper for her to judge. slowly i looked over to see her response just hoping she wouldn't shake her head in the name of childish immaturity or something like that. but as i looked over a smile slowly creeped across her face. i told my brother to look and as he saw that she had approved, he began to beam with satisfaction and confidence.

the unbridled potential of human nature is remarkable. sometimes we forget to let the people we love just amaze us. we think we know all there is to know about someone and then they always go and prove us wrong by blowing us away all over again. it was a good reminder to simply love and be amazed by those around us and to remind them of how proud of them we are. trust me, there's plenty to take pride in.