untitled(obviously)

as the petals fall from the flowers i am reminded. remembering everything that i once stood and fought for. now i lie down and embrace the gutter. all my life meant lays at my feet in ruins. if this is the truth, then why is my life a lie? if these are the only words that matter, why can't i say them? i kneel in the shadow of Your redemption. this time i will settle for silence or cheap phrases bought by tongues. i deny the only one who truly loves me with every breath. my purpose. grey eats at my soul. anything and everything goes as far as i'm concerned.

islands and wooden skyscrapers

my heart turns to ghost. don't come near me! it's nothing personal, i just dont think i can take it. let me build these walls. so i won't have to feel hurt. pain cannot breach this wall. concaine thoughts take me away. but isolation come crawling back. a reminder of the lonliness. breathe truth back into these mechanic eyes. save me before my heart disappears. i long for Your touch before i fade into the road. another stray line that missed its mark.

parallel lines intersecting at a point slightly above my heart

my soul was not built to work like this. so haphazard and apathetic. eyes tell all hidden inside. recycled to the very end. half-hearted offerings have left me feeling so exhausted. every ounce of passion has fallen victim to this silence. overcommitment has left me stranded and searching for the exit sign. your compliments keep me afloat. those words become the obsession of my heart. words overcome truth and blind my eyes. open my eyes. i need your discernment

miss pacman vs. duck hunt(round one)

there it sits at a distance, so old and worn. telling of a long, taxing road. it catches my eye. and for one second i forget why i try so hard to cover such true beauty with this hallow case. doorbell rings. quick, exit stage left before the curtain falls on our act. reach for the whitest tablecloth in the closet. next grab the pretty plastic plants. oh what a beautiful display! enter guests with teeth like snakes. we tread water as i yearn for venom to rush through the veins in my neck. what a lovely lawn! what a lovely house! what a lovely wife! what a lovely white tablecloth! oh its nothing. change subject as tablecloth covers and suffocates poor table. goodnight, goodnight. adieu, adieu. look forward to next strangling. that was a close one. i had to choke down my words. white tablecloth stained red. oh table how many times will i cover you with such a phony, unworthy disguise? dear table without you i would starve. you deserve so much more, yet you sit quietly, and think no less of me. oh dear table how much longer will i sit around you without showing your face. how can i be ashamed of such simplicity? let's burn away that tablecloth(that so easily entangles).

an embassy of simplicity

all pretty on the oustide. starving on the inside. will he notice me. drop five, no ten. not enough! the defender never came. now your value lies shipwrecked and marooned on this island of false standards. where not even your heart will survive. where if you don't fit the "perfect plastic mold," its off to the chopping block. holywood's mirror has no grace. in all this vanity love is tainted. but true love will not be drowned out by these novacain voices. as His loved ones are taken out back and numbed. He restores value to His precious little girls. and charges His boys to be men. defend with the reminder of pure validation. find your value in truth.

o great pharisee!

perfection of the earth. every word carefully crafted. no mercy in sight. no such thing as a second chance. "follow us to fame!" every single ritual as brutal as the last. teeth gnashing like a dragon. proclaiming death to all. "there is no life in love. find hope in law." -"this land is desolate. life taken by the iron fist. borders patrolled by two-faced cannibals. love is not a fraud!"

bartleby

eyes pierce to flesh. scanning every inch from top to bottom. running me through your mind. like a fleeting afterthought. measuring every step. with scientific scales. feed me to your furnace. the one hidden in the back of your mind. find comfort in this system. it has never failed you before. inadequecy tastes like broken glass. tears up all inside. my heart cries out for anesthetic. it cannot survive these brutal evaluations of 1,000 passing eyes. all identity vanished. set to sail by acceptance. can there be a way to give this shell existence. all words aside. can there be approval for this apparition. light enters bloodshot eyes. in the sea of disbelief and disillusioned character. i will never forget the voice that called to me. "designed by love. never meant to be obsolete. your name is my heart's pride."