there's more to life than binge and purge

don't worry about the footprints behind you and don't strain your neck to see the dark trail ahead. just let your tongue get caught up in the undertow from waves of medication. wash it down with a glass of your finest wine. slip the blindfold over your eyes and slowly all reality will be dulled and senses calmed. the stalks grew unnoticed through the pavement. keep still, the harvest this way comes. the rusty old sheers peel skin from bone and now the crops wade ankle deep in my blood. but i have never seen the sun shine so bright. i stumbled into the prophet's mouth and now i'm trapped. it's cold and damp behind these teeth but i found the flock. the cap won't provide much resistance for your desperate fingers. peer into a collage of color. a tunnel filled to the brim with ounces of empty hope. poverty came with a network of endorphins. your kind acts cannot disguise the hemophiliac.

the girl next door

wait, there's something going wrong here. i should have know, i should have seen the look in her eye. leaving a trail of scattered hopes in her wake. princess of a kingdom of vultures that feast on mankind. i can see the crown you wear so proudly, it was made with skin and bones. you keep walking to the shore to meet the roaring tidal waves. i'll kiss your salty, blue lips and wake you up. you limp back bruised and battered with tears in your eyes. i'll grab your fragile hand and whisper softly into your ear. you'll smile and then run back to the beach. this sand and his sting is your comfort zone. stay away from her boy! she'll cast a spell and capture your heart. the ambulance is always one step ahead and the hearse is one behind.

blood, death, and disaster are a little cliche but then again so are fame, glamour, and romance

a new morning has dawned. it came hand in hand with reform. progressing and expanding to the setting sun. refining the air we breath. turning weaping faces into expressionless stares. at least it's an improvement. every afternoon the old politicians are marched out back and smothered with blueprints. our once harmless habbits evolved into dark and souless vices. they creep in the shadows and devour us with bloodstained teeth in the secret of our homes. aware of their intentions, we left our doors cracked. graveyard masterfully transformed into a playground. if hidden bones remain, our utopia vanishes.

80123

i reach to fasten my seatbelt. this is my communion with the almighty. hands folded from point a to point b. the noise swirls all around, sometimes it's a fog and sometimes it's a wasp. the only silence i hear is the brief moment in between the dialtone and your answering machine. lazy tongues, frozen in motion, slur endless sylables into a monologue, stopping only to come up for air. the winding, black pavement calls me back to explore its hidden adventures. thousands of miles of blending white dashes and radiowaves is my choice. i bent down to kiss distraction's red lips. the only faithful mistress i have left. i'm such a gifted architect, building walls from armor. i don't fear commitment but i can't help but notice the rope you hold. i haven't had a dreamless night in a while now. acquaintances avoid messy handshaking.

?

do ever fear the skeleton you try so hard to hide will wake up and leave the confines of your fragile body? take a breathe a walk straight through your skin. your insides walking around for all to see. every broken bone and blemish dancing to the sound of your voice. do you ever wonder if 'relationship' was a cleverly invented phrase for economy? simply the calculated business of supply and demand. or the subtle art of manipulation. does every heart come with a barcode? if so, i am nothing more than a consumer. does my soul adorn your mantle place? if i fell from the map would i then land at your feet or swim through the waters of your mind? do you even think that breathing could be voluntary or that you were built simply to break? do you ever close your eyes and hope for a disaster? a swift and sudden end. one so brilliant and original it will never be forgotten. but there's no turning back once you've experienced the sweet and unsettling embrace from the grave. just ask the nihilist who sleeps with his ideals below the ground.

i don't want to live my life without any scars

i am so tired of laying awake, wondering where i could be if i was someone else. insomnia steals from me as thoughts drift between delusions of grandeur and suburban development. everything in this neighborhood is familiar and i am just another restless soul among the thousands marching toward death with open arms. their faces, expressionless and their eyelids, fastened over their eyes. i already met the humble servant of man, we exchanged glances on the busy street corner. i have seen it all and have come face to face with the revolution, and i'm cold. making a house with broken glass was too hard so i'd rather make myself at home in this cage. i have a perfect view of a cascade of billboards through the bars. potential is such a sharp sword, i choke on every sylable.

schizophrenia on broadway

i've been scribbling these letters for days with no end in sight. i am the infamous playwrite and slowly i am becoming one with the pages. my veins meet where tragedy is forged. i sail through seas of ink and brainwaves. leave me to direct this stale plot. the light blinds and brings perspiration and panic to the surface. behind every princess lurks a villian. everyone in this room plays thier role while i memorize the script from front to back. i came to rescue the princess from unsuspecting danger but i arrived to find her singly sweetly to the cold corpse on the floor. he made his bed in a pool of his own blood while he slept peacefully with a knife forced firmly in his chest. this battle in my own head has always defined who i am. i feel the bullet make its exit through my skull. i am sinking under imagination.

sometimes i do things right, but mostly i disgust myself

i work my fingers to the bone. inventing a contradicting escape. pretty soon there will be nothing left but dust and lies. sell out your life or sell yourself short. i scream at the top of my lungs into the mirror, cursing my reflection. but i didn't know which tongue i was hearing. like a flower hidden beneath the burgandy cover of fall, my words lay down to die in peace. my heart is the easel for this compromise. the canvas drips, the walls bleed, and colors collide. meet me at the treetops, i'll lead you to the branches and leave you at the limb. the weight of this screenplay is too much to bare, but i'll go it alone. i am the assasin and the cold touch of pride and the barrel are all i will ever know. a rope descended from your hand when i deserved the sword from your mouth.

i wish for once in my life i would finally do something for someone other than my wretched self

diplomacy grows pale while the trupmet sounds. this is where we make our last stand. we're taking it into our own hands. the general feasts while his company comes face to face with their disasterous end. i will drown you in the shallow well of grace. i won't wait any longer. open wide and swallow my bayonet. taste and repent. our infantry stands strong. the pulpit and a missle launcher. i can see why you dress in armor. like father, like son and vice versa. sound off for the roll call, this is our tally. but there is no love in numbers.

cursed by the day that i arrive

Today I realized that life is full of SO MUCH beauty, it's overwhelming! After a long time of thinking and rethinking about the nature of human existence I have to come to a very simple conclusion. First of all I have finally decided that there will never be a day that I am satisfied with myself as a human being or follower of Christ. In fact, I hope there is never a day that I am completely satisfied with myself as a well-rounded person, or faithful follower of Christ. There is so much for me to learn about selflessness, love, people, and life in general. I am constantly failing God in every aspect of my walk with Him. So as for now I have decided that I am going to try to enjoy the ride, and enjoy the learning experience that is life. Second of all I have decided that I am blind! There is so much beauty in the everyday things, that I often pass by without a second glance. I cannot even imagine how amazingly different my life would be if I would simply stop and admire God and the beauty of life without giving so much time to all the pointless distractions I put in my life. So many times in my life I feel like I have seen everything there is to see and I feel like God doesn't surprise me anymore, but if I would just look past my own face I would be swept off my feet by his beauty and majesty. He is a field without a fence and a door without a key.

maternal devestation

majestic beauty, floating on air with each step. she hides pearls behind that glossy red gate. her silver, starry eyes hide secrets she'll never tell. black hair falls innocently in her face and casts a shadow of inner serenity. her red dress still burned in my retina. a form brushed elegantly with purity. how did such a delicate mother give birth to these crippled leeches? beauty with millions of decrepit children. with eyes, but stitched shut. with ears, but no brain. with a mouth, but no voice. a spinal column, with no vertebrae. knots of interwoven bone, with no feeling. dressing in robes and armor. to hide the tangled web of black, pusling viens beneath. they pretend to be more than a mere passenger-seeking parasite. they call for thier masks. thier hollow screetching deafens her. never the same. a new mask for every ocassion. they have no identity, they have no need for one. every mask burning hotter. every mask cutting deeper. every mask sears and pierces flesh. faces shaped and reshaped. welcomed deformity. celebrate tonight. for the gallows await the morning. prepare the guillotine! we will paint the streets red. sterilize the needles. expectant mother prays for miscarriage. our great walls will fall. our swords, broken at the helm. arrows reign the skies. our city stands in ruins. an insatiable fire consumes our dreams. crops turn to dust as livestock feast on the farmer. if this is our baptism, then we all shall surely drown. renaissance arrives! the craddle holds hope. you expect me to lead this deathmarch! i'm as guilty as them. but the glorious mask will put an end to all that.

idealistic realism

in a society built by caffeine and machinery we raised a generation of poets. send them to war.