sitting in a cold hotel room in the middle of nowhere minnesota, somewhat hungry, thinking about life

there is something deep within me that beats like a steady, tribal war drum. The rhythym is a constant, dull pain in my brain. It involuntarily drives and controls my actions. Something has mastered my mind, it has tamed my once free and wild insides. It has ignited a flame that burns bright with one purpose and sychronizes my words and my steps in unity to fuel the fire. A pyre is set in my heart and my will is set to burn at the stake. the beat moves through my body and gives shape to my limbs and meaning to my lips. but i can't remember if it has always lived inside of me. was it a primal sense or some truth we deduced? maybe this is the sign of progress, a mechanical civilization with an i.v. full of vicodin. if this is the future, then open up your eyes and look to hollywood. if only this love could exist outside of this idealistic hope. if only this love could exist outside of self. if only i could love anyone half as much as i love myself...